I love art supplies, craft and art supply stores, and books and magazines on creating art.  During quarantine I have had a lot of fun creating with acrylic paints and all the supplies I’ve been hoarding for years.  Painting brings out a different type of creativity than writing does and it’s been an educational experience for me - learning to mix colors and textures, adding in elements such as word plates, feathers and gold leaf.  And in general trying to figure out who I am as an artist – of which I have no idea.  But it’s been a lot of fun trying.

Recently I picked up “Release your Creativity” by Rebecca Schweiger.  I was drawn to this book because it’s bright and beautiful, and you’re shown step-by-step how to create some very cool pieces. 

Do you ever have the sense that God is talking to you through books?  Or at least trying to get your attention?  Just me?  Well, when I got this book home, it fell open to the chapter titled Fear of Failure. 

Fear is a nasty enemy.  He can come in and steal joy from any moment.  He can take a negative emotion and make it worse.  He’ll manifest in any person, place or object he can in order to take your focus off of what you’re doing.  Fear wants to rule your heart, keep you unmoving and ineffective.  Fear and I have been battling a long time.  I win more than I lose these days, but when I do, it’s only by the grace and power of God.

When we zero in on the fear of failure it looks different for everyone.  Fear of failing your spouse, children or family.  Fear of failing to follow instructions and messing up the thing you’re working on – painting, work report, recipe, etc.  Fear of failing to live up to a standard – beauty, money, career or education.  Failure is something we assume and perceive to reach so much more often than we actually do. 

So I started a painting from a chapter titled Fear of Failure to see what would happen.  It took a month to complete.  A few of the colors I chose were different than what was instructed.  The bubble wrap I used had larger bubbles than the one she had in her piece.  And some of my drips didn’t come out the way that I wanted them to.  Even so, the completed piece is my own and I kinda love it.

Working on this piece didn’t cure all my fears, but it did win a battle.  Each win gives me courage to face the next fear and reminds me of the strength I’ve been given to win.

For I am the Lord your God

    who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

    I will help you.

Isaiah 41:13